Let’s talk about pre-marital counseling!

But first, congratulations! There are a lot of engagements at the start of this new year that should be celebrated. It is the start of a new chapter and can be so exciting. But then comes the wedding planning itself. Wedding planning, for me, was pretty stressful, but for others, it is really fun. Aside from the wedding part though, there is also the marriage part to consider. The wedding is a day; the marriage is a lifetime.

Some pastors require pre-marital counseling and some recommend it.

Typically, pre-marital counseling is short-term.

It can be one session only or it can be 3 sessions. It can be done in one weekend or it can be done in under 3 months. Different churches have different requirements.

So, to answer the question – “Do we need pre-marital counseling?”.

You may need pre-marital counseling:

• -if you are having thoughts of calling off the wedding
• -if you are withholding a significant secret from your fiancé
• -if you have resentment or are starting to build resentment towards your fiancé
• -if you are having frequent, high conflict arguments
• -if you leave an argument with your fiancé feeling extremely negative
• -if you feel stuck, lonely, or sad

However, there are other common reasons that you may need pre-marital counseling as well.

• -if it is required or recommended by your pastor/church/officiant
• -if you want to learn how to communicate better with each other
• -if you want to learn healthy communication skills
• -if you want to learn more about you and your partner’s communication styles
• -if everything is good in your relationship, but you want to safeguard your marriage and not get divorced in the future
• -if you want a relationship “check-up”

Happy New Year! Congratulations to all those newly engaged couples out there!