Most people will utilize Psychology Today and type in their zipcode. Others will ask family and friends. And of course, you can always just Google your city and what type of counseling you want.

Once you find a counselor that seems like a good fit for you, then you can call or email them. You can usually get an idea of what kind of personality they have on the phone, but meeting them in person will give you the best idea of their personality and counseling style.

All counselors are different too. Some are older, younger, male, female, religious or secular. Some use humor, some stay stoic. Some like to do all the talking, and some like to do all the listening. Do you get friendly, good vibes from them? Or does it seem like they don’t “get” you?

And every client is different too. Some clients prefer to just answer questions while some prefer to lead the conversations. Some clients want someone to challenge them while others just want someone to agree with them.

 Unfortunately, you really don’t know how well you will “click” with the counselor until you meet them. After you meet them, you are not locked in. You can always switch or transfer to another therapist. Yes, this can be cumbersome because you don’t want to have to start over with a new therapist. But if you are not comfortable for any reason, then you have a right to switch and be comfortable! This is a counselor that you are sharing your personal information with and getting recommendations from. Having a mental health professional that you are comfortable with is priceless!

Take home message: trust your instincts, reach out, and then switch if you need to. It is your life and your journey, so you get the ultimate say in your treatment.

Marriage counseling is where two people that are having problems in a relationship talk to a professional about their relationship. Marriage counseling can also be called couples counseling or marriage therapy. And the professional that you talk to is called the marriage counselor. (Counselor or therapist or clinician all mean the same thing.)

Marriage counseling can help with all sorts of problems, big or small. Some problems that can be brought up in marriage counseling, include but not limited to:

Infidelity

In-laws

Growing Apart

Communication

Anger Management

Parenting

Co-parenting

Blended Families

Finances

Addiction

Mental Health Illness

Stress

Job Related Problems

Sexual Problems

Childhood Trauma

The Past

Death of a Family Member

Having Kids

Adopting

Fertility Issues

Miscarriage

Pornography

Trauma

Pretty extensive list. And yet, there is so much more. Basically, any problem that you have with your spouse is valid and open to bring up in counseling, whether it is typical or not. So, if there is something that is on this list or not, we can talk about it.

During sessions, we talk about your relationship, your relationship history, recent conflicts, recurring conflicts, what you need to work on, what your partner needs to work on, what life stressors you have been facing, what your communication patterns are, etc.

You do not have to worry about coming up with a topic. Most counselors have lots of questions ready to ask. We want to get to know you, and we are trained to navigate the communication in session.

Counseling is also a confidential space. All licensed counselors have an ethical responsibility to keep your information private. I respect your privacy and personal information.

Hope this helps! Please remember that all therapists have a different style of communicating and working. If you are not happy with your therapist, speak up or switch. You should absolutely feel comfortable with whomever you are sharing your personal information with.

Marriage counseling sounds scarier than it is. But the reality is that ALL couples argue. All couples have conflict.

You have 2 different people with 2 different backgrounds, personalities, childhoods, perspectives, etc., so yes, you are bound to have disagreements. The difference between healthy couples and unhealthy couples is how they argue.

You may need marriage counseling if:

• you leave every argument feeling hurt and disrespected
• you have been having the exact same fight over and over again
• you are starting to feel disconnected with your partner
• you or your partner have had an affair
• you are having an increasing number of fights
• life is getting stressful or a number of life events have happened in a short time frame
• you are considering ending the relationship
• you want to stay with your partner, but you can’t seem to get through to them about an issue
• you want to stay with your partner, but your partner seems unhappy
• your partner is having personal problems that are affecting the relationship
• you feel hopeless in your relationship
• the past is affecting your present
• you are sad in your relationship

There are lots of other reasons to seek marriage counseling that are not on this list. But these are some of the typical reasons that couples seek counseling. Please note: None of these reasons are “bad”. They are just red flags that the relationship may need some help. If any of the above apply to you, it may be time for outside help.

Any additional questions? Feel free to email me at Shelly@friendswoodmarriagecounseling.com